It seems like most people that read this probably fall into the group of people that have seen the second Chronicles of Narnia film: Prince Caspian. I've only seen it once in my life so far (which was while it was still in theatres), but I should probably think about seeing it again, because I remember it having the sort of beauty I've found only in Narnia. I once had a dream about the animated BBC production of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, and that dream was about that beauty. As I think about it now (because, actually, of my random stumbling upon of "The Call" by Regina Spektor on Grooveshark last week), I realize that it's a sort of beauty that has had a profound impact upon my life.
The essence of the beauty is simple. Indeed, it is summed up in one word: special. There's a subtext to all of the Narnia books predicated on the hard back of the wardrobe. Narnia, as a non-allegory, lets itself be many things, and I think, what we all love about it, is the thing least often discussed, even if it comes out almost explicitly at times. The children do not simply love Narnia because of the great things that happen in the realm. Part of the glory of Narnia within each of the children from "our" world that get to go and come back, is how it is their own unique experience. It is something they know was real, but it is something that cannot simply be explained to be understood. It is something that, outside of their minds, might not exist at all. But it does, deep, somewhere, it does, although there is no proof. And that is a form of true beauty, at least to me. The most important, most wonderful, most impacting experiences of our lives are the irrational things we cannot explain to others...things we might, indeed, find embarrassing to talk about. But they are real. They are beautiful. They are, sometimes, more real than anything else..and I think that's how we relate to God, and how he relates to us. I can't verbalize the most important experiences I've had with God. The skeptics always chalk that up to his non-existence, but that is because they have no such experience. How can I expect them to understand?
And it's one of the most beautiful ways we can relate to one another. It happens on many levels, but the most basic, or, at least, most easily understood by the majority of the people that read this, is the sort of innate connection you might have felt, from time to time, with people you've never met, but, because you have both had a life-transforming encounter with God, you feel like you've already got something great in common. It goes deeper than that too, especially when you start talking about romance.
It is, perhaps, the most simplistic form of beauty in the world, but I think it's one we all recognize on some level, and I think it is, somehow, the beginning and ultimate end of love.
If any of that actually means something, then it means I've lived a hard 9 months moving toward learning it, or at least learning how to say it. The most scarring personal rejections, it seems, come from one side thinking more of that specialness and wanting to pursue it further...or perhaps seeing it when it does not exist. I've been there many times.
There's a second side to it all though, and that's the way it makes memories matter. Everyone has a past, and part of that past is probably a set of good memories. Take, for instance, one of the last nights before graduation in May. I went to see star trek with some good friends. No matter how many times I see that movie again, I doubt any of them will mean as much as that night did, because it had that set apart, special quality about it. It was more beautiful because of its specialness than any other viewing of that film could be. Even if I see it under wonderful circumstances (like, for whatever reason, I were to watch it on my honey moon or something like that...), that would then be a divergent memory, in which both would have their own special beauty....the complexity of it is such that both can be great, beautiful memories with similar circumstances, but, they will be different, and even with a similar sort of beauty, have a totally different beauty, because the beauty is based upon specialness. Even other times in life, where wonderful memories happen, like when I went to China, and sometimes never grow into anything (like all of the relationships in which I invested while I was there, with people I may never see or hear from again), it will always be something to me, thanks to its own special beauty.
I've been realizing, in the past two weeks, that that sort of beauty is good and even if it seems to be all anything ever amounts to, it is still a good thing to which something can amount. I need that right now, when everything is temporal, as I make new friends at church and have new experiences with old friends around here. I might be leaving soon and everything will change then, but it does not mean everything here is meaningless....even if that meaning is somewhat ethereal.
I don't know how Lewis captured that, but he did, and it's been shaping my life for years.
-Zack
"Shine with all the untold, hold the light given unto you, find the love to unfold, in this broken world we choose"
-Vienna Teng
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