Monday, March 30, 2009

Change is still coming....

But I've got a quick bullet point: If John Calipari takes the Kentucky job, I am picking Kentucky in my bracket until he is no longer their coach.

-Zack
"In this dream now you can sleep because this bed was made in love"
-Mae

Sunday, March 29, 2009

The winds of change are blowing.
As they say.

-Zack
"tonight I'll wake up twice and both times find you gone"
-MAE

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Am I a Communist?

I think I might be. Unintentionally...although I used to think it was a good idea, straightaway. If it weren't so humanistic, so, indeed, necessarily humanistic and, well, wrong about history, then I'd probably consider it, now that I'm thinking about what I think these days about things. I think though, that Communism, as an "enlightenment" "humanistic" "modernist" theory, is going to fall short a lot. But, what, I ask, about post-modern de-facto communism? And by this, I mean, what if we decenter ownership? I was taking the elevator up to do a bit of reading before I would take it back down to write this, and the thought came to me that our generation is increasingly, starting with music, fragmenting ideas of ownership. It's a bit complex, and I don't know how to talk about it without just sounding cheap or lazy, but when it comes to sampling, the debate is over who owns what. The problem is the "originator" of the sample thinks he or she has some claim on its use. The post-modern (and all of hip-hop is necessarily post-modern, I'll get into that another day) don't see it this way, not because they view what they created as new and different enough (although this is the legal defense), but because ownership doesn't mean much and, as it looks from the underground, ownership hasn't done much good for the world in the first place. Owners have power and owners exploit...and where does the line begin? Look at naming rights....If I had the hypothetical money, I could buy the "naming rights" to a stadium or amphitheater or something, but I couldn't buy the theater itself...just the rights to name it...and what in the world is that, but a word...and who owns words? We can act like we own words, but a culture owns words, a culture owns the letters that make a word. Then people claim them, and that's when problems arise, because it was on the back of a culture that progressive sought to create a lucrative business to mark a name as their own and buy the rights to a stadium....but who owns words? And who owns progressive? No body really...but someone claims power and exploits the uninterested, uninformed, and unrevolutionary masses. That's all ownership is. The people of Yap don't have a concept of ownership, and they're better for it. Does that mean I want people taking my stuff? Well, for the greater good, ideologically, sure. Maybe not though.....but that's why God has to be the center....then we can actually have a greater good.

But it's complicated.

I didn't really mean to write about communism today. It just happened. My freshman research paper in High School was titled "Karl Marx: Bringer of Ruination." I still think that, but for very different reasons, I think. He at least had the sense to point out injustice and exploitation where he saw it....The Church hasn't been doing that (and has been doing the exploiting) for hundreds of years, so I can't dog on Marx too much.

And next year, I'll be at Hillsdale, where you can attain the "Adam Smith" level of donation.

I'm thinking this might get a huge overhaul soon, this blog that is. That or I'll start another. That or I'll do nothing. I'm really interested in probing the usefulness of a regular blog in building and maintaining a support team (prayer and financial) for my time on staff. Really, my time in ministry....I'm thinking at this point that I'll only leave staff to pursue foreign missions...but God can do what he wants. Although I never really do see myself going into the non-ministerial work force.

So I don't quite know what this would look like, if I start utilizing it for ministry. I might have to change what I write about...although that could happen anyway, as my life changes. I would love to give the people supporting the ministry a more updated (than a monthly/bi-monthly prayer letter) look at what's going on, and allow for a sort of forum that that wouldn't....I don't know, maybe it's been tried, I'll ask some questions, seek some answers..and pray, and just think. I think, pray, and journal a lot. And it's good. You should try it too.

I'm going to send something to Germany today. Or tomorrow. But soon, in any event. I love sending things....it's the one time, and probably the dangerous time, when spending money just seems alright and I don't really miss it. Which is weird, because I don't get much in return...in fact, I get nothing but maybe a receipt. I think, however, that my "love language," as they say, is sending things to people. There is, of course, the "giving" language, but I'm not the biggest fan of giving things in person...I'm a huge fan on sending things and leaving things in people's rooms when they aren't there...that sort of thing. Surprises and little extras and letters are fun.

I wish I had journaled more in China. A lot was going on then, but I just didn't journal as much as I do now...I can basically look back at my life and track some spiritual, emotional, and mental progression for at least since SLT, and a bit before in the summer. But there is very little from prior to that...a little bit, and I found my first journalled prayer, which took place in China, over break...but it's just not as much as I have for more recent times...and I wish I had it. But at least, in a couple of years, I'll be able to look back and see that what I have now is useful for then, whenever it is that then comes up. So, you should journal, if only to preserve a picture for yourself of what you are now, and see what God has done, in future times.

I've got to go to one of a dwindling number of meetings. It's kind of sad...but at least the future is looking bright.

-Zack

"I can't do the talk, like the talk on the TV
And I can't do a love song, like the way it's meant to be
I can't do everything, but I'd do anything for you
I can't do anything except be in love with you"
-The Killers

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Longer than I said it'd be

It's been awhile. But I don't mind, and I doubt you do either. Well, you might...but you certainly didn't say anything about it, so how am I to know?

Quite frankly, I don't know where to begin. Here's a list of all the things that have happened since my last post:

I completed a draft of my I.S., March 1st
I turned in my I.S., March 3rd
Eric Chen visited Wooster (same day)
I went home, March 4th
I went to Hillsdale, March 5th-6th
I went on the Urban Plunge, March 7th-13th
I went home, March 7th-21st
I came back to Wooster, March 21st
It's now March 22nd

And that's just a list of things, not even a story of what happened. And I don't know where to begin. I.S. really feels like a long time ago at this point....#28, and I just saw that someone is 189, so I'm like, 161 ahead of that, and that might not even be the most recent turn-in. It was, after all, nearly two weeks ago. I haven't gone to a class since March 4th. That's a long break when classes are still the same, when we return...and I won't be back in class til Wednesday, so that's a 3 week break for me. A busy break, and an important break, but a 3 week break all the same. And a great break.

Hillsdale is going to be interesting, and it's interesting that I haven't posted at all since I visited, because I definitely could have used this to process a lot, because my feelings after Hillsdale (largely brought on by the Urban Plunge) were definitely something of a roller coaster. At first, I was excited, because there is a ton of potential there, and I met some great people. Then, during the Urban Plunge, I was, quite honestly, a bit upset that I was going somewhere like Hillsdale...really, quite specifically, Hillsdale, because, through 3 Urban plunges, my heart for social justice is a whole lot bigger than Hillsdale's chapter seems to have...at least in very different ways...It really felt like a kind of waste, to go to Hillsdale, after all I've been through in InterVarsity, and all the things I love...and there isn't even much room for intentional and direct evangelism at Hillsdale! But God took all that. Sure, I had to give it to him...but it was a pretty swift healing process...or learning process, whatever. We visited Scranton Road Bible Church basically the day that all of my ill-will toward my placement came to a head. And the resounding message every singel person that shared had to say was that God will place you where he wants you, no matter how much you think you belong there. And if you accept that, he will do soemthing great. I got the message.

And the Urban Plunge was wonderful. The group was great, we got along great, and having the full week was perfect. The pace was perfect, and, even in my third run at it, I still learned a lot.

Being home wasn't much worth talking about.

And tomorrow is I.S. Monday.
I can't say I've always thought I would get to I.S. Monday. It's just so iconic, so monumental...so surreal really. But it's tomorrow, and I cannot wait.

I feel like there is much I want to share, with everyone, but just can't. Well, don't know how either. Maybe if it comes up specifically, I won't be able to hold it in.

-Zack
"The sun was barely coming up, my heart was all but slowing down, but I could hear and make out the sound, it was my personal symphony"
-Mae