Issues with Prepositions

I recently started following another staff-member's blog... she's actually in my area, at Albion College. When I get to Hillsdale, she'll be the closest staff, geographically, and at the other "small, liberal arts school" in the mid-michigan area. When I first saw her blog, I thought "that's funny, we have the same title." But we don't. Her's is titled "Pursuing the Kingdom" while mine, as you can see, is in the passive voice and uses two prepositions (well, inasmuch as "in" is a preposition... it's sort of a shadow word that floats between grammatical designations without much regard for "used-as" denominations). That probably reflects on how stilted my writing style is; on one hand, it drips of legal proceeding and long, feels-like-run-on-if-they-aren't (but often are...) sentences, and on the other hand, I have a high regard for the usefulness and legitimacy of the vernacular. And I say things like "legitimacy of the vernacular...."

I don't know if I have much to share today. Well, I don't know if I have much to write today. I just know I was sitting at my computer, as I do, seeing what I can do to further the Kingdom of God (which, still, means raising money), when it came into my mind that "it is time to write." Because it's Thursday, that meant writing my only regular entry into this blog. I think I spoke of my aversion to the word "blog" in one of the earliest posts since I switched to blogspot after xanga, but it's really grown on me in the past few months. I don't know if that's an example of such an event or not, but it reminds me of how the best way to get God to convince you of something is to tell him how much you're against it. One of my colleagues, the colleague many of you know best (and the colleague I know best) once said he went to China in part because he had written out a veritable checklist of reasons he didn't want to or couldn't go. Unfortunately, telling God how much I love raising money and would hate to get to campus hasn't yielded any results thus far... Of course, God knows our hearts, and I haven't actually prayed that prayer because I know it would be a lie. I do enjoy Fund Development more than I ever thought I would, but it's gotten long, and arduous at this point, and sometimes it feels hopeless. But all in God's time...all in God's time. That's the phrase that repeats in my mind more than any other at this point in my life.

I have recently realized that there is an Urbana this year. I've known that for years, I've been registered for months, but it finally seems real again. I think Urbana '06 is such a mental, emotional, and spiritual signpost and romanticized artifact in my personal history that it's hard to believe something like that could ever happen again. After all, there is no clear time when I'll be going back to China (but I cannot wait to do so), and I will never be at SLT as a student again. Indeed, no one will, as it's now The InterVarsity Leadership Institute: IVLI. But Urbana is coming, and I will be staffing it, but so much of the magic, well, that's probably exactly the wrong word to use, but I would love to reclaim magic as an emotion instead of a demonic thing that I'll use it, of Urbana is seeing all of the people there to worship the Lord and allow him to guide their lives. That's not going to change no matter my role.... that, and it's so large that staffing it isn't going to change my own perception of it unless I end up leading worship, speaking, or directing it (which I would be amazed if God ever allowed me to even think about doing one of those things...), because it is so large and there are so many staff that my small part isn't going to be big enough to overtake the larger perception of Urbana... not like at SLT or a conference, where you're very much behind the scenes and in front of the crowd for much of the time. But, I haven't recieved my assignment yet... I could get something that greatly changes how I experience Urbana. Of course, at this point, I probably won't be having my travel reimbursed, and I don't know if that also means I won't actually be staffing it... if that's the case, I'm still going. Missing Urbana is not just the equivalent, but the absolute epitome of missing the biggest party of the triannum.

I've been told, recently, that my open honesty without much prodding or reason to be so open was interesting and unusual. Maybe that's true, I don't know. As far as I can tell, if I weren't open, I wouldn't be alive. I guess that just goes along with who I am, and probably who many of you are, and maybe even with the level of trust that builds itself into personal confidence that comes with a Wooster education. I know who I am enough, and what I can do enough, and what is off-limits enough, to be able to allow the rest of everything to flow freely without much fear. That, and with about 6-7 years of blogging experience at this point, I'm pretty good at sharing relatively inconsequential things with anyone who will take the time to read them. Of course, if you were to plunge the depths of other blogs, perhaps specifically xanga.com/dulacian, you'd find that I have had my issues with saying too much sometimes...

I watched a brilliant film yesterday. It's called "Once." Maybe you've heard of it, maybe you haven't. It's an Irish film about a street performer and an effort to make it big. But it's about a lot more than that too, and it's beautiful. It will take a lot to list anything else as my favorite movie of the year, come January 1st.

I've also been reading an atrocious book; 2die4, by Ryan Dobson, and yes, his dad is who you think he is. Perhaps that should have tipped me off to begin with, but my issues are less with why I dislike his father's ministry and more with the fact that Ryan Dobson should not have a public life, or he should try to have one that is actually Ryan Dobson. Why do Christians look hypocritical? Because there's nothing real about people like Dobson jr. His book is less than 100 pages of the most manufactured "hard-core, extreme sports, thousand-foot-krutchified" garbage I've ever encountered. I am a book snob and when it comes to Christianity mixed with books, I get pretty high-brow. But there's no reason to believe that's the only reason no one should spend money on "2die4." It's not even theologically sound or anything short of troubling, which is absolutely preposterous considering it's basically offering a k-2nd grade understanding of spirituality. Here's a paraphrase (far better written than the book is apparently capable of producing:) "It's a good thing that Christians are dying for their faith because that means Jesus will be back as soon as possible." It's the old "the world's not perfect so the only moral issues we should care about are homosexuality and abortion" argument. He basically says that because the Bible says martyrs are always going to exist, we should do all we can to die for our faith too and let Jesus come back sooner. I'm sorry Mr. Dobson, but wrong is still wrong and we are unequivocally called to come out against injustice. That's like saying Judas was in the moral right. No, he wasn't, it doesn't matter. Of course he had to do what he did, but that doesn't make betrayal right. It's like saying Nebuchadnezzer was right for throwing Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego into the furnace because it led to greater faith in God in Babylon. No, that's just not the case. Just because God can and will redeem bad actions and injustice for the better, doesn't make them right from the beginning. It's spiritual "ends justifies the meansing" and it's preposterous. Yeah, technically the a-bomb that killed hundreds of thousands in both Hiroshima and Nagasaki might have saved a raw number of lives, but that doesn't make killing hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians right (especially since we don't actually know the casualty count that "might" have happened had the war stayed non-nuclear).

Pray, act, and strive for peace and justice.

-Zack

"Fight with our hopes and our hearts and our hands
we're the architects of our last stand"
-Flobots