Two posts in as many days...you would think I'm picking up the pace, maybe getting obsessed or something. Who knows, I might be...but I don't think that's the case. I just think Thursday's update was a bit late and this one just kind of happening. This might turn into a semi-regular occurence, for me to post on Sundays. But I won't commit to it because committing to something regular (outside of worship) on a Sabbath is the antithesis of a Sabbath.
This is the first sabbath where I'm trying to stay off of facebook. Not in a legalistic sort of way, but in a "I order my life around facebook far too much and I need to break out of that" sort of way. I'll probably work on cutting out e-mail eventually too.
But that's not what this is about. A little bit after I posted last night, I got to thinking about things, and almost did another post. I'm glad I didn't, because what it was going to be definitely fits with what this is going to be.
Just a warning though, I can't guarantee cohesion...there are going to be a lot of things just thrown around with bits of narrative explanation....so probably not too different.
Mostly, I just realize that Sabbath is supposed to be, largely, about reflecting on and processing life, to be renewed for the coming week. And I do that outwardly...I do that here. So...that's what this is all about.
I went to a new church this morning. Definitely an "emerging" (see older post about how I hate that term...) sort of thing, planted, apparently, by the former youth pastor at Wooster Mennonite. It was definitely the most comfortable I've felt at a church in Northwestern Ohio in a very long time. I wish I had started going earlier this summer, and I hope I get to go back often, even if just for a little while. The saddest part is that my family is moving so it can't even be the church I go to when I'm home. I'm glad I've got somewhere, even if just for the next month or so, anyway.
Speaking of the post-modern church movement, I think that's a possibility for an eventual job for me. It's definitely a long way off because I'm still planning on eventual foreign missions (although who says the two can't meet?), but I could definitely see myself as a part of an "emergent congregation." Indeed, much of my life has been on that sort of trajectory for a lot of reasons...I'm an astute student of post-modernism and I spent much of my college career doing the exact sort of thing emerging churches try to do...there's really little difference, at least in my mind, between a really good InterVarsity large group and a post-modern worship service....and that makes total sense, as the audience is largely the same.
This leads me to another thing: for some reason, I don't see myself leaving InterVarsity staff til I'm married, and as far as I can tell, that's irrational. When I think about going to seminary, going to the foreign mission field, starting a post-modern church...there's just this slight block in my mind that tells me I can't do it til I'm married. I guess I'm just afraid to settle somewhere on my own. Being with InterVarsity, I'm allowed to be at leat slightly transient. My long-distance time with Meg has definitely turned me off from any sort of long-term, long-distance relationship, and settling somewhere could create that. Wither InterVarsity, when push comes to shove, you're never more than one school year from being able to relocate if God's calling you in a certain direction. That's my analysis of it at least...it could also (as in, in conjunction) be because God has plans for me to get married before I leave staff. Only time will tell, most certainly.
I think I'm about to make this the third post in a row in which I talk about meeting people to date. I never really mentioned meeting someone in church, and until today, that's because I always thought it was a little hard, maybe even a little lame, and a little underhanded. That changed today (and no, not because I met someone at church). I realized today though, that church is like, the ultimate meeting place for singles. Take college...you never really know (especially without facebook) if someone is in a relationship or not, and alongside that, you never know what expectations are or may be. But at church, oh my, things are so different. It's rare that a single twenty-something at church is going to consider themselves entirely off the market. It's just Christian culture...although Paul harps on the value of singleness, we never, ever, ever think of it as an actual first option. Basically, everyone single is on the market, so to speak (myself included...). And it's even a walk in the park identifying potential dates...seriously, what Christian worth dating doesn't bring their significant other to church (in reality, plenty, I'm sure, but not too many, and not many per-congregation). So you know, if someone, let's say a girl, since I'm a guy, isn't sitting with a guy approximately their age (and/or probably holding hands with said guy) he or she is probably single. Sure, there are plenty of instances of this not being the case, I'm sure, but not past college. When you're in college, things like boyfriends at other schools or girlfriends from other states during the summer come into play...but that's got to be rare after we've all graduated right? I certainly think so...it certainly seems to be so. This is dating of course, so it's a necessarily inexact science, to be sure. In any event, it's easy to spot at least potentially single people, and it's easy to do without any commitment. You can get to know countless people without any sort of "intentions" for the good of "the fellowship." It's easy to lead people on at church, in other words, but you can do it entirely guilt free because you "just want to get to know your brothers and sisters in Christ!" Sorry for any crassness on my part. I'm actually trying to argue for the viability of meeting eligible people at church.
This is all kind of topped off by the fact that older, married, "wiser" members of the church will probably be vying for and working to set single members of the church up with each other. I've not really experienced this (mostly because I've never had the chance yet), but I've been around enough to know it happens.
So who knows? I don't know at which church I'll land, once I finally land in Hillsdale...but there could be tons of eligible women just waiting!
Then again, I hope, by then, I'm not quite so available. I do feel like I will be though...just a sinking, pit sort of in the stomach feeling.
This doesn't really bring me to another point, but I have another point and Lupe Fiasco helped me get there... I don't know why I ever just gave up serious writing. I blame Wooster. I don't know if I'll ever get back to it, but there's no real reason (apart from laziness) that I could eek out some sort of novel or two by the time I die. Sure, I may never get published, but there's got to be something there...it's a gift I've just kind of given up on. I don't think I'll ever get back to poetry, because I think that was forever misguided...but I'm not sure why I ever gave all forms of prose save for blogging.
Maybe I'll hold off on that til I'm married too....
Have blessed Sunday!
-Zack
"Photographs, they haunt me lately"
-Anberlin
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