In one week, 7 hours, and 23 minutes (give or take the time it takes me to write the rest of this), I'll be on the road again, headed south, back to Savannah.
In 10 hours and 23 minutes, from right now (give or take again), I'll be ostensibly finished with my time as a "summer" clerk at Sherwin-Williams, transitioning into my part time hours for the school year-- at the end of the day today, I'll have finished my final full week of work.
I have learned a lot this summer about the legal practice and what it means to be a lawyer.
A lot of it is interesting to the interested, but broadly, I've learned that it is not only easy to grow complacent in pursuit of "the good life," but it is nearly mandatory in the legal field.
It's not a secret that the "noblest" legal jobs pay little or at least less. I had been under the impression that the less noble jobs could be leveraged for good, and to a degree they can. But in the end, being a corporate dog is being a corporate dog.
The legal field is unique in that your job consists of one of two things: fighting for something you wholeheartedly believe in, or suspending your own ideals in the name of the higher ideal of advocacy and representation. That's, also, is no secret to anyone.
But I've learned this summer that, at some point, no matter which of the dualistic roles you're filling, you're going to begin to absorb the values implicated by your situation. What I mean by that is really simple: if you are suspending your ideals in order to defend a party in the wrong (and the lion's share of corporate legal work is just that), your values invariably start to shift. It's not as possible to give fair representation to a party, no matter your own beliefs, as lawyers like to let on. This should seem obvious, but lawyers like to act like superheroes who get paid for their shapeshifting, above all else.
But it's not true. Lawyers are either adapting to the values of their client, or growing increasingly despondent. There's a vast middle ground, where everyone really dwells- but the process rolls on forward- we are becoming one or the other.
I cannot, unfortunately, give any really specific examples from my own experience. But I can cite some common knowledge: plaintiffs lawyers tend to stay plaintiffs lawyers, while defense do the opposite-- and in the criminal law world, defense-minded attorneys typically don't make the flip to prosecutors. Other than the need for a job, it's rare that an attorney has much motivation to pick a side at the beginning. But then, at some point, their particular path begins to define their career and, much of the time, their personality.
There probably is something innate about specific individuals that leads them to one side or the other. But I've now seen people who, in law school and prior, were raging against the machine as much or more than myself, now oiling it and feeding it daily.
Much of law comes down to money. It would be easy to attribute it all to greed and move on. But it's not just greed- there's a very real need to support one's family, after all, and it's not altogether evil to desire life's comforts when they're affordable and non-exploitive.
But there's very little about the way lawyers make money in the private sector which does not have some kind of exploitive opportunity cost at least.
The "best" firms only accept the "smartest" students, with the "highest grades." That's their prerogative, but it means the entire law school world is beholden to firms that do nothing but protect huge corporations. That means, at the end, that we, law students, are striving to be able to apply and work and the sorts of places that ensure corporate greed persists. No matter your initial goal in coming to law school, the well-performing student will invariably look like a slacker, flawed interviewer, or not all that well-performing, by choosing to pursue a better path.
Law school shames you into corporate defense.
I should add that I do not dislike my summer job. Indeed, it's good, and it's a great experience. But it's so far from what I want my eventual legal-career-path to look like. I know that now more than ever, and without it, I wouldn't. I am thankful for that. Sherwin-Williams, as big corporations go, really is a pretty good company for which one could work- and it's always going to be a bright resume spot.
But even in that litany, I realize that I- my future success- is the center. If nothing else, even if you aren't as borderline Marxist as I am, it is hard to look past the self-preservationist nature of the corporate world. It's all about making your own money. That is a disease much bigger than legal practice. That is the disease that has been destroying souls since money was invented- and probably prior. As I said above, there's nothing wrong with providing for one's family or being comfortable in life. But there is something very wrong in orienting your entire life around yourself by way of your bank account. It does not matter what field or job you have. That has always been the case.
But it is apparent and celebrated in the world of corporate law.
I probably cannot turn the tide on my own. I doubt, when I retire, little will have changed. But if everyone allows that sort of thinking to quelch their motivation, there will never be change. While I cannot guarantee change (I gave that up May 2012), I can guarantee that I won't stop fighting for it. Let everyone else have all the money- I've something much better for which to strive.
-Zack
"OG is one who's standing on his own feet"
-Rick Ross
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