This two-part series turned trilogy has reached its conclusion. Law school is back in full swing, already 3 days in the books.
2L year, in the trilogy of lawschool years, is supposedly the "work you to death" year, sandwiched between the "scare you to death" and "bore you to death" iterations. Only three days in, I can see how that's the case, but I've also realized that we've all become adjusted to the work that will be required.
Perhaps its the lack of active scare tactics on the part of the faculty (though I'm not sure how much they ever really existed), but everyone is much less uptight now. Perhaps it's because we've stratified around our class ranks. Perhaps its because we've all realized that even getting here is an accomplishment and moving forward is more important (finally) than being better than everyone else. 1L year is spasmodic. Everyone thinks they can be ranked number 1. After first semester, when only one person is, the pressure just intensifies as job interviews begin and summer plans start to formulate. It even carries into the summer a bit, as people make their claims to journal positions. But then it dissipates, almost like magic. I didn't expect the chilled-out demeanor that has drifted over the whole 2L class, but it's more than welcome. (that being said, I know people are still serious about their careers and the way class-ranks will always control our "destinies." But it's not controlling us, at least overtly anymore. Even so, I can't help but think there are probably still a number of people that would more than gladly sell their soul for grades- at least amongst those who managed to maintain it after last year).
Once more, any doubts I've ever had about assuming the legal profession dissipate the moment class begins. There's a rightness about my place in law school that I'd never known before last year- and its done nothing but grow stronger with affirmation over the past year. It could be said, and fairly, that I operate much less on the empirical and make my decisions based on intuited feelings. To that end, I've been right about few things like I was about going to law school. It's far from easy, its wholly consumptive, and it requires (or creates) a certain measure of neuroses, but its the place for me- and when it is over, legal practice, or something else to which law school leads me will be too.
In many ways, it feels like life is on hold until May 2015, while I bide my time and plough my allotted plot with an eye to the future. But on the other hand, there's little about this life, at least for the three years I'm committed to it, that I'd want to give up. Cleveland-Marshall is just another weigh-station on the route- but so was Wooster, so was Hillsdale, so was the Curry House. But were it not for each of those places, I'd have missed the others and all that came with them.
As much it might seem to me that I'm biding my time and putting in my work until my three years are up, I'd be remiss to ignore the potential that simply being here holds. My life is not on hold for three years while I'm in law school. For three years, law school is very much what my life is.
And ultimately, it is good. There's little else for which I could ask. Law is a field of professionals and thus, law school draws the upwardly mobile- there's a certain bend toward the next, bigger and better thing at every turn. But if I get caught up in that, I'll let what may be three of the most enjoyable years of my life pass me by. In some ways, I may look back on these as three of the hardest years of my life for any number of reasons- and not all of them because of school. But I.S. was far from easy- and my senior year at Wooster was nothing if not glorious. Life is difficult. Humans, us, we don't want difficulty. But its rare if we don't find the most value in coming through it- and finding the joy in the midst of it is always so much greater than never fighting through. (ed.: this is not meant to support the boilerplate response to tragedy which tries to turn great loss of life or war or any other uncontrollable circumstances that we encounter-- I don't believe it's ever good (no matter the good that may arise, by the grade of God) when people die or families fall apart-- I'm speaking specifically about creative and constructive struggles)
I don't know when I'll get a chance to write again- but I hope it's sooner rather than later. In the meantime, if you don't hear from me, it's just law school, sapping every bit of me out again- but I know that means its exactly as it ought to be.
-Zack
"I'm saying nothing in the past or future ever will feel like today"
-Bright Eyes
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