Back to Life (pt. 1)

And so with that, I have completed my first year of law school.

It's hard to believe that, this time last year, I wasn't even sure I had what it took to be a successful starbucks barista.  Three months later, I was terrified of Torts.  Two months ago, I was sure I was about to fail property.

But now, it's just over, on pause, if you will, for a much needed summer off.  It's not that there's actually anything "off" about my summer- but it's not school, and that's positive.

I've got an unexpected week off next week.  Trying to figure out how to use it well and relax well, but not, in the end, feel like it was wasted.

Lost in the tussle of all of this, the finally ending, after the unending feeling of finals and papers and reading, are a whole lot of people, from every angle.

I've been unfortunately withdrawn, from the non-immediate people in my life, for the past nine months. I've often been withdrawn from the immediate too, as far as all of that goes.  I've never been so consumed by a singular goal, as I was, because of law school.

And I'm only 1/3rd of the way done.  Apparently it's the hardest third, as evidenced by the not-coming-back-portion of classmates I'll inevitably have in a month or two.

In many ways, I've probably changed and hopefully grown over the last 9 months.  At the very least, I'm sure I don't see things, everyday little things even, in the same way.  I've always been great at knowing things- it's been, perhaps, my most persistent quality since I was 2 years old.  In one way or another though, lawschool has helped me to understand things.  It's like I finally have some kind of context through which the world filters.  It's not a worldview as much as a skeleton upon which society hangs.

It's been less than 24 hours since my last final and I'm still working on putting on my non-school-life mindset.

I'm not sure I know how to do that.  I've got a degree of lawschool Stockholm syndrome at the moment.

I'll get over it though.

For now, I'm back, I'm free, and I'm learning what that means again.  I have more freetime over the next week than I have had since the summer before my senior year at Wooster.  That was five years ago.

I'll find a way to enjoy it.

-Zack

"Yeah I questioned if I could go the distance
That's just the work, regardless of who's listening"-Macklemore