I think I might be. Unintentionally...although I used to think it was a good idea, straightaway. If it weren't so humanistic, so, indeed, necessarily humanistic and, well, wrong about history, then I'd probably consider it, now that I'm thinking about what I think these days about things. I think though, that Communism, as an "enlightenment" "humanistic" "modernist" theory, is going to fall short a lot. But, what, I ask, about post-modern de-facto communism? And by this, I mean, what if we decenter ownership? I was taking the elevator up to do a bit of reading before I would take it back down to write this, and the thought came to me that our generation is increasingly, starting with music, fragmenting ideas of ownership. It's a bit complex, and I don't know how to talk about it without just sounding cheap or lazy, but when it comes to sampling, the debate is over who owns what. The problem is the "originator" of the sample thinks he or she has some claim on its use. The post-modern (and all of hip-hop is necessarily post-modern, I'll get into that another day) don't see it this way, not because they view what they created as new and different enough (although this is the legal defense), but because ownership doesn't mean much and, as it looks from the underground, ownership hasn't done much good for the world in the first place. Owners have power and owners exploit...and where does the line begin? Look at naming rights....If I had the hypothetical money, I could buy the "naming rights" to a stadium or amphitheater or something, but I couldn't buy the theater itself...just the rights to name it...and what in the world is that, but a word...and who owns words? We can act like we own words, but a culture owns words, a culture owns the letters that make a word. Then people claim them, and that's when problems arise, because it was on the back of a culture that progressive sought to create a lucrative business to mark a name as their own and buy the rights to a stadium....but who owns words? And who owns progressive? No body really...but someone claims power and exploits the uninterested, uninformed, and unrevolutionary masses. That's all ownership is. The people of Yap don't have a concept of ownership, and they're better for it. Does that mean I want people taking my stuff? Well, for the greater good, ideologically, sure. Maybe not though.....but that's why God has to be the center....then we can actually have a greater good.
But it's complicated.
I didn't really mean to write about communism today. It just happened. My freshman research paper in High School was titled "Karl Marx: Bringer of Ruination." I still think that, but for very different reasons, I think. He at least had the sense to point out injustice and exploitation where he saw it....The Church hasn't been doing that (and has been doing the exploiting) for hundreds of years, so I can't dog on Marx too much.
And next year, I'll be at Hillsdale, where you can attain the "Adam Smith" level of donation.
I'm thinking this might get a huge overhaul soon, this blog that is. That or I'll start another. That or I'll do nothing. I'm really interested in probing the usefulness of a regular blog in building and maintaining a support team (prayer and financial) for my time on staff. Really, my time in ministry....I'm thinking at this point that I'll only leave staff to pursue foreign missions...but God can do what he wants. Although I never really do see myself going into the non-ministerial work force.
So I don't quite know what this would look like, if I start utilizing it for ministry. I might have to change what I write about...although that could happen anyway, as my life changes. I would love to give the people supporting the ministry a more updated (than a monthly/bi-monthly prayer letter) look at what's going on, and allow for a sort of forum that that wouldn't....I don't know, maybe it's been tried, I'll ask some questions, seek some answers..and pray, and just think. I think, pray, and journal a lot. And it's good. You should try it too.
I'm going to send something to Germany today. Or tomorrow. But soon, in any event. I love sending things....it's the one time, and probably the dangerous time, when spending money just seems alright and I don't really miss it. Which is weird, because I don't get much in return...in fact, I get nothing but maybe a receipt. I think, however, that my "love language," as they say, is sending things to people. There is, of course, the "giving" language, but I'm not the biggest fan of giving things in person...I'm a huge fan on sending things and leaving things in people's rooms when they aren't there...that sort of thing. Surprises and little extras and letters are fun.
I wish I had journaled more in China. A lot was going on then, but I just didn't journal as much as I do now...I can basically look back at my life and track some spiritual, emotional, and mental progression for at least since SLT, and a bit before in the summer. But there is very little from prior to that...a little bit, and I found my first journalled prayer, which took place in China, over break...but it's just not as much as I have for more recent times...and I wish I had it. But at least, in a couple of years, I'll be able to look back and see that what I have now is useful for then, whenever it is that then comes up. So, you should journal, if only to preserve a picture for yourself of what you are now, and see what God has done, in future times.
I've got to go to one of a dwindling number of meetings. It's kind of sad...but at least the future is looking bright.
-Zack
"I can't do the talk, like the talk on the TV
And I can't do a love song, like the way it's meant to be
I can't do everything, but I'd do anything for you
I can't do anything except be in love with you"
-The Killers
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