It's going to hit like a storm. I don't feel ready. I don't feel prepared. But maybe, just maybe, that's exactly how I'm supposed to feel right now.
This Saturday, I'll be moving back to Michigan. I'll be moving back to where God's called me, even if just for the coming year (but ultimately, I just don't know...). It's crazy, to say the least, how fast this summer has gone. And I don't feel ready for the coming school year. Perhaps what's worse than that, is that I don't know how to feel ready.
I'm excited for what's coming. I'm excited for the coming school year because I know great things will happen. They always do. But I just don't feel ready to embrace life on my own again. I don't feel ready to embrace a regular schedule and the challenges that will surely arise....soon.
But I must be ready. Because here we are and I can't think of anything more I could do. I can't think of anything more I could prepare. Really, right now, I can't even think of any more fund development work I could do.
It's just a matter of packing and a matter of moving....and I'm not packing all that much, I'm not moving many things. Just my self...and my frame of mind. Starting Saturday, I'm back in the saddle, so to speak. The semester will probably be over before I know it, but right now, it feels like it will be here much sooner than I ever thought it would.
I enjoy working on a college campus and not being a college student...but it would be a lie to say I don't miss college....often.
It's hard to believe that as much has changed as has changed in the past year. But it has. And here we are, here I am. Last August, I was hoping to make it on campus by October 1st. This year, I'm definitely getting into the swing from the outset and that's the best feeling ever.
This time last year, I still had some $30,000 to raise (maybe more)....now, I have less than $9,000 for the rest of the year, and that's not keeping me off of campus.
Things are falling into place, so to speak, in my life, in my world. But it's a constant journey and things falling into place is far from a reason to be at all sedentary. Things will constantly be falling into place, and it's our job, in this world, to constantly be taking all of those falling pieces and seeing what we can do to improve, seeing what we can do to move forward.
I've called "Meet the Robinsons" one of the most overlooked movies of the past decade, and part of that comes from how great it is, all the way around. But perhaps the most important part of my love for the movie comes from a simple phrase that sticks with me still: "keep moving forward." It doesn't matter, so much, how we do it, it doesn't matter, so much what happens...but what matters is that it happens..that we always keep moving forward. It is the sedentary life that kills much faster than the dangerous....or something like that.
The next year will be full of risks, of course, and full of challenges and opportunities. But even in the face of failure, as long as I "keep moving forward" I'm sure I'll be okay.
But I can't neglect, despite all of that, that there's a lot more to it than simple forward motion. I'm called to a divine purpose in this world, and above all else, I've got to keep that in mind, to seek daily what I'm to do from the word of God and by his will. I know it's his well, because so much of my life wouldn't be what it is if I did it by my own. But even so, somehow, someway, where I am is what is right..and I'll keep moving forward from there, by his good grace.
So this Saturday I'm moving, moving back to Michigan, and moving back to the place from where I can move forward in this grand adventure God's placed me on, even if just one semester at a time.
But between now and then, I've got to pack and I'll be packing away an amazing summer. Who knows what will be next summer? But I know from experience, and faith in that it's always been the case, it will be another glorious summer. Between now and then even though, I've got another glorious year in the service of the Lord to get underway.
To God be Glory Forever,
-Zack
"We could do more than dream; we could start it off with this"
-Anberlin
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