Breathing In

It takes so long for things to epiphanize. I don't know where I'm going, but I know it's all intake.

Where are you from?
Tell me about your relationship with God.
What do you see God doing on campus?
How is God working in your life right now?


Good questions. Rote questions.
Rote-for-a-reason questions.

But it's all intake. It's all inhalation. It's all good. But it's all consumption.

At some point we have to burst. We have to exhale. We have to give after we've taken. Call it balance, I just call it survival. At some point it all just ends; the fragmentation sets in and there's a way to finally see beyond the give and take, the push and pull, the polarization of all meaning and the stark nakedness of thought that is inhale/exhale or this/that oriented. God never meant this/that, he always mean both and and. And is more than a conjunction; it is the key to all meaning, once you realize it's meaning. And perhaps that's what it is all along- the link to phrases, thoughts, clauses, and, on the outside of all of that, the link between us all that actually lets us get past what we think we know and realize that all we need to know is that He is at the center and all else is not just up for debate but necessarily subjective.

But even so, how we live is how we live and how we see is how we see; it might be built on false castles and ungrounded foundations, but they are still our castles, they are still our foundation, and that gives them a legitimacy to us, even if they aren't necessary, even if they aren't right, even if they don't even exist. Because God loves us enough to put himself within this hackneyed world of false binaries so that we might see beyond it. But we can't see beyond it without its existence, and that, if nothing else, is worth exploring.

So even if my feeling of inhalation is ultimately false, that doesn't change the fact that I'm longing to breath out.

-Zack

"The more I live I see this life's not about me"
-Anberlin