You might not have heard yet. I don't work for InterVarsity anymore- I'm headed to law school and working at Starbucks in the meantime. The party line is an amicable split. The truth is something different.
In early April, I received the manual for the track I was to teach at Chapter Focus week this year. "Truth that Works, Truth that Heals." It fashions itself a bit philosophical, as an apologetics and "worldview" track. Included in that is, of course, one of the biggest questions facing Christian college students today: "What about gay people?"
It shouldn't surprise you (it didn't surprise me) that the manual takes a pretty traditional view of scripture and affirms that all sexual relationships between people sharing matching genitalia are always, without exception, objective sin.
I used to believe that too, but I've grown a lot since then because I've been around earnest Christians trying to do what God wants, who've found a place in God's heart for openly gay and lesbian expressions of love, and they've not experienced, from God, a shunning of their souls. At first this sent me reeling, but then it kept happening. In response I've decided that I'd rather love those around me without exception, especially when it seems there's certainly a multitude of ways to interpret scripture the Truth that Works, Truth that Heals manual wouldn't consider for a moment. I'd rather love and be wrong when I get to heaven, then be wrong for not loving. That's the land on which I've found myself standing lately.
So I raised a few concerns. I couldn't find it in myself to tacitly approve of the track's content. I sent a few e-mails and vaguely said that I couldn't affirm that position. My track got changed and I thought I'd get to ride off into the sunset with InterVarsity, toward Law School.
God is much more sovereign though, and he'd been preparing me. A bit over a week ago, I wrote a very honest monthly report, wherein I made it clear that my will and ability to do what InterVarsity requires of their staff didn't really exist anymore. I'd been faking it for a long time, and I did what I could to clarify that.
Like I said, God is sovereign.
The response I received, to my monthly report, was short, to say the least. It was terse, really, and ultimately graceless. "We're requiring you, despite all the concerns you raised about your personal well-being, to fulfill the job description til July" I thought I'd have to fight that, I thought it'd get messy.
But the response continued: (all of this is paraphrase)
"What's more important is that we get a few things clear about your stance on homosexuality. InterVarsity's official stance is:
1. Sexual attraction to a member of the same sex is a disorder and outside God's will
2. A person can't help his or her attractions, so suffering from same-sex attraction does not preclude an individual from InterVarsity chapters or staffwork.
3. Acting on a same-sex attraction is outside of God's plan and is therefore, under all circumstances, sin.
Can you say in good faith that you have a real stance on those matters? If not, we can delay our monthly supervisory meeting til next week so you can pray about it."
My reply was short. "Let's meet tomorrow" I said.
I didn't get much sleep that night. I'd had too much caffeine, certainly. But beyond that, I knew, from something deep inside, that I'd lost InterVarsity in much the same way Proust's narrator lost Albertine (figuring out what that simile means is worth the work, trust me). The next morning, I was in a bit of a haze- I'd got about 4 hours of sleep but could find no more. 7-11 a.m. were some of the longest hours in my life.
But the time came, and my monthly supervisory appointment happened. We ate first, as we always do, but that was foolish. It was just a bunch of platitudes, though we both knew what was coming. And it did.
The question from the e-mail was asked again. "Do you have a set position on the matter?" And I answered in the affirmative. I answered that it differed vastly from InterVarsity. Before that time I didn't know InterVarsity had an official stance on the matter. Turns it, it isn't completely public yet and only present in a document only certain staff can access. I got a copy though, to inform my decision. My decision existed long before, of course.
Over and over I was asked if I'd be willing to support InterVarsity's position in InterVarsity contexts. I can't, because that would be disingenuous and essentially hateful to people that I love and respect. It was for that lack of willingness that my appointment with InterVarsity was officially terminated come the first of May.
"It's unfortunate it had to end like this" my supervisor said. She is correct, but only in the definitions of the words, not in what she meant by them. Because it is unfortunate. Not that I had to be fired for being obstinate, as I'm sure she meant, but in that InterVarsity had to come down so strongly on a matter apart from the purity of the Gospel. The truth is, Christians- full fledged followers of Jesus- exist, who read the Bible differently on any number of matters from one another- and this is one of them. In the exchange, a great rift took place. When I joined InterVarsity and joined staff, part of my decision was based on how ecumenical it seemed- allowing all sorts of viewpoints and fostering constructive discussion; proclaiming the Gospel as a uniting force. But a sharp turn's been taken. Now, apparently, at least on this matter, there's only one way to look at it in order to be accepted by InterVarsity, no matter the fervor of your faith or the sincerity of your love for Christ. It's a sharp turn to a world where exclusivity and rightness are valued more than love and inclusion, and a willingness to journey alongside one another toward Christ.
I was fired for an ideal on which I wouldn't relent. Short of proclaiming a false gospel, I didn't think that was possible in InterVarsity. But then again, it seems InterVarsity today isn't what I thought it was either. I lament that fact.
InterVarsity, right now, faces stiff tests for campus access. Chapters around the country have lost their campus recognition over discrimination in leadership selection. I always thought that concept was crazy and an overstepping of bounds by campus administrators, asking a Christian group to willfully give leadership to non-Christians. At this point, though, even if all of the cases are precisely that, I can't believe InterVarsity is indeed non-discriminatory. With the publication of the Theological Response to the LGBT Community, InterVarsity organizationally declares that an interpretation of the Bible, apart from their own, is grounds for firing of staff and preclusion of members.
So much for inductive method....
-Zack
"afraid not of none of you cowards but of my own strength"
-Nas
