The greatest hypocrisy in all the world rears it's head when you become a missionary and ask your family members if they want to support you. Suddenly, what was always noble work and a wonderful, great thing, becomes all of that for everyone but their sons and daughters and grand-sons and grand-daughters, and nieces and nephews. I don't have enough fingers to count the amount of times my mom has asked me if I "ever want to get a real job" or when I can "stop begging people for money." The answer, parlaying in her terms is frankly no and never, but quite honestly, I have a real job and I have never begged for a cent. I honestly don't know what's surprising about all this. The first thing I ever wanted to be was a missionary and while that changed to politician and lawyer by the time I got to college, it flipped back quickly once I got back with God. Even so, what I do and what I have to do often seems like a totally anathema to what I should be doing if you ask many of my family members. Needless to say, as much as I'm looking forward to when my parents have jobs again, I've got an ever-sinking feeling that it's going to be a two-sided coin. It will be great...but it will probably lead to the conversation/realization that they either A. won't support me at all (financially...I already know any bit of non-financial support I could hope for doesn't exist) or B. Will only do so because they either I. want me out of the house sooner or II. just feel guilty and give out of that.
In the end though, it doesn't really matter because as crass and mean as it sounds I don't need their support to know what I'm doing is right.
There's not really anything new about quiet disapproval from my family for the things I do. When I went to China, I think the only reason my mom said I could go is because she was pretty sure I wouldn't raise the support...and I'm not sure how many times (but it was a lot) my mom reminded me "how much money I could have saved" had I not gone to SLT....or Urbana....or CFW.
And that's exactly why I stopped asking them for money for anything after Fall Conference my freshman year....it's led to a lot of lean and dark financial times (like right now!) but it was definitely worth it...partly because it meant trusting God more with my finances (okay, mostly that) and it cut off a lot of flippant spending on my part.
Sometimes I feel like the embodiment of Jesus' wise words that "a prophet is not welcome in his own city." That's probably overly dramatic, but it's better than shaking the dust off my feet and telling my family that it will be better for Sodom on the day of judgment than it will be for them....
Anyway...
Sorry for complaining. I probably shouldn't do that. It is definitely frustrating though, this life, much of the time.
I know it's all going to be fine though...it's in God's hands. I've put it there....a lot. He's going to provide for me in every single way. He already provided a place to live for next to nothing (utilities only!). It will all line up...in His time.
Christians and Atheists don't understand each other at all. I've heard (and said, probably) that "it would be such a hopeless life, to believe that there is no God." It's never received very kindly by an atheist, and I think I figured out why: they see it as an extremely hopeful life, if there is no God. If there is no God, then they, as a human being, are the pinnacle of existence and the most powerful thing in existence. Even if life is over at death, at least you don't have to worry about being subject to something else. You are as powerful as you make yourself. I see the appeal in that. No, I'm not becoming an atheist, but I understand it better now...definitely. Of course, atheists don't see how hopeful, how right, life is with Christ, with reverence to God. They see it as a crutch, but it's not. It's not at all. They don't understand that the world was created to bring God glory and getting closer to that gives truly endless joy.
It's all about perspective. It always has been, and indeed, it always will be, and that is why the only way we can know anything is if God deigns to let us know....it's why God's drawing someone is and will always be the most important part of any conversion story.
Being a single, college-graduate, my thoughts sometimes turn to how, exactly, I'm ever going to change the "single" part in that. I've got options 1. (option left intentionally blank) 2. dumb luck 3. Internet Dating Site.
Right now, only option 1 "intentionally left blank" sounds at all appealing. That option, by the way, will be officially revealed on the tenth of September, provided I have internet access. It's weird to think about how different my life really could be by then...but who knows...I could still be here, doing what I do. Hopefully not though.
Of the other two options...well, they just sound dull. I cannot, at all, picture myself falling for someone through either option right now....well, you never know what "dumb luck" (or, as I should put it, God's hand) will do....but it seems unlikely if I could make it sound appealing, given what I'm going into for the next at least year...but you never know. I've just...seen things. It seems unlikely, to say the least, that I will end up randomly meeting the love of my life in Hillsdale, MI. Of course, you never know til you try, but I know I'm probably not going to end up marrying a student for a plethora of reasons....a Hillsdale student, I mean mostly....I do leave the door open for people that happen to be students still (that I probably already know), but that's all situational. As for the internet thing...I just don't see it happening....e-harmony, match.com, anything else...I can't see that working for me. I don't think I could take it seriously. Maybe I'm not ready to date....maybe option one has passed from "the only thing appealing" to "the only thing acceptable." Maybe that's good, maybe that's incredibly terrible. Only time will tell.
Right now, it's time for me to go, I think.
I wish I could talk more about dating, marriage....it's my favorite topic....unfortunately sometimes. Even when I'm not in a relationship...even when it's not my relationship...even when I'm not close to being in a relationship....I, like our culture, love to talk about it. And hopefully, I do that well. Going to so many weddings this summer has turned my thoughts that way a lot...and it's either unfortunate or very good that I'm not in a relationship right now....
Anyway, til next time!
-Zack
"How great your love for us"
-David Crowder
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
I know it's a dream but it must be true....
Enter Wedding Weekend 2.0
Not upgraded...just a different version of the same general thing. But really, only the name is the same...a wedding is all about the participants so, at least in theory, the only thing one wedding share with the next is that it's called a wedding...everything in a wedding is the imprint of the people...even if they are in essence, essentially, basically or exactly the same...that item is the same for a reason reflected in those that chose it.
That and culture, of course...but culture varies, person to person, family to family, ethnicity to ethnicity...nothing new there.
Even though I'm a lot less important at this wedding, I feel a lot less prepared. And by that, I just mean I was all packed and ready to go by now on Thursday before the last wedding, while I'm doing the bulk of things tomorrow for this one....which might actually have to do with my slight importance to the procedures. In a way, by not being invited, I became more important...well, I'm not "important" at all...but I'm the date of someone that is and therefore sort of am by osmosis?
Whatever....It's going to be a great time!
Sometimes I feel like a total failure at Fund Development...
It's not my fault, at least not totally....but the progress is so excrutiatingly slow, I just feel like I'm not doing something right...and maybe not doing something good enough.
But I've got to remember a few key things:
1. Ultimately, it's in God's hands. He's not going to let me down even if the FD process/adventure is longer than I want it to be. It's about patience now...it's about patience tomorrow, it's about patience forever.
2. I can't change the fact that a lot (really, a ton) of potential donors aren't in the best financial shape to give...no jobs/bad portfolio/slow business...whatever it may be, the economy is hurting me a lot more than I had hoped it would because even who would be my most faithful givers just can't give at all right now...my own parents, friends that graduated that can't find jobs, other people...there's just a lot of economic downness right now...and while it's not helping me raise the money any faster to acknowledge it, it helps me not feel like such a failure to do so.
3. I haven't failed yet. There is still time, and it's not even the end of the world if I can't be on campus when school starts.
4.I can't change hearts or minds of people that don't want to contribute. That's ultimately their call. God's going to provide whether those that don't want to give wanted to or not...really, there aren't even that many of them as far as I can tell
5. Ultimately, it's all in God's hands. I know I listed this..but it all begins and ends with what he does.
Ten things to pray: 1. That I remember, ultimately, it's all in God's hands. 2. That those friends, family, and etc. potential donors that aren't financially capable would be financially capable...meaning that my parents would find jobs, that everyone else would find jobs, et al. That does mean praying for an economic turnaround probably...but people that pray small prayers expect small results, and friends, we are not expecting small results. "Bring your Umbrella" so to speak.... 3. That God's provision continues.
4. Patience, patience, patience...I know it's learned...and sometimes, it's given.....I need it to be both right now.
5,6,7,8,9,10: Praise the Lord for all he has done already, and all he will do. "Praise Him in advance"
Something I might always say as part of my staff routine...if you can call it that, though, is that you cannot pray and be opposed to being an answer to prayer requests. Think on that...it changed how I look at everything...from politics to the gospel to everything in between....
If I believed in polar opposites, I think politics and the gospel are that....if there ever was one, and that's either a total shame or exactly how it should be. I'm going to Hillsdale, so it's probably a total shame officially, but I have a feeling that deep down, I know it's exactly how it should be.
I was playing a card game about Zombies today (Zombie Fluxx....fluxx is awesome, by the way) and it was the first time I had an idea for an I.S. that I actually do wish I had did instead...a lot of my I.S. afterthoughts aren't really what I would have preferred...just other options I never explored. But this one was genuine: I wish I had critically examined the Zombie Movie Genre...it's not really been explored as such, at least not too critically that I know of...it's usually lumped into horror, which becomes something totally different because "scaring" is at the forefront of that analysis, while I would be supremely interested in the sexual politics, undertones, and social commentary of the zombie genre and conventions...that's why I love Westerns even though they aren't that good most of the time...and it's why I would have loved to do that I.S.....maybe if I ever go to Grad School.....if I ever go to Grad School, I'm probably going to go to Syracuse for Film...just because. Well...not counting seminary...I'll probably eventually do that...probably somewhere around Chicago, since that's apparently what people do, but it might be anywhere, and I might be anywhere by then too....it's not like there aren't a few decent spots in Michigan.
But first, Hillsdale. And first, funding.
And before all of that...prayer...and patience...and hard work.
I think John might be the best writer in the New Testament...just like, naturally. Of course it's hard to tell in translation...if nothing else, his words translate best. Matthew is probably second, then Paul, then Peter, then Luke. James has potential for fourth, but there's so little, I'll probably go with Mark next, followed by James in fifth. The author of Hebrews might be second too....but he might be any of those guys too, so it's hard to say. I once heard it might be Apollos, and I like that theory, but that's conjecture....
As I've been writing this, I've been listening to music, as I always do, and I finally realized what "Breakfast at Tiffany's" by Deep Blue Something is actually about...wow. Not wow like "that's deep" or wow like "So incredible" but wow like "it's been like, most of my life since I've been listening to that song from time to time and I just now get it" He's just saying they do have something in common...so she should give him a chance. I either never listened to the lyrics well enough, or it was meant to happen, right now, for a reason. And it's probably both of those things...
I'm a little sad that the common grounds reunion is this fall at homecoming...both because I don't know if I can make it and because it's not removed enough to make it that awesome, and by the time another rolls around, if there is one, it will probably be too removed...Oh well...I still hope to go to homecoming.
This blog is Wooster and InterVarsity centric....sorry about that. Well, maybe you don't mind. But someone might.
-Zack
"Take your skin off when you listen to me"
-The Killers
Not upgraded...just a different version of the same general thing. But really, only the name is the same...a wedding is all about the participants so, at least in theory, the only thing one wedding share with the next is that it's called a wedding...everything in a wedding is the imprint of the people...even if they are in essence, essentially, basically or exactly the same...that item is the same for a reason reflected in those that chose it.
That and culture, of course...but culture varies, person to person, family to family, ethnicity to ethnicity...nothing new there.
Even though I'm a lot less important at this wedding, I feel a lot less prepared. And by that, I just mean I was all packed and ready to go by now on Thursday before the last wedding, while I'm doing the bulk of things tomorrow for this one....which might actually have to do with my slight importance to the procedures. In a way, by not being invited, I became more important...well, I'm not "important" at all...but I'm the date of someone that is and therefore sort of am by osmosis?
Whatever....It's going to be a great time!
Sometimes I feel like a total failure at Fund Development...
It's not my fault, at least not totally....but the progress is so excrutiatingly slow, I just feel like I'm not doing something right...and maybe not doing something good enough.
But I've got to remember a few key things:
1. Ultimately, it's in God's hands. He's not going to let me down even if the FD process/adventure is longer than I want it to be. It's about patience now...it's about patience tomorrow, it's about patience forever.
2. I can't change the fact that a lot (really, a ton) of potential donors aren't in the best financial shape to give...no jobs/bad portfolio/slow business...whatever it may be, the economy is hurting me a lot more than I had hoped it would because even who would be my most faithful givers just can't give at all right now...my own parents, friends that graduated that can't find jobs, other people...there's just a lot of economic downness right now...and while it's not helping me raise the money any faster to acknowledge it, it helps me not feel like such a failure to do so.
3. I haven't failed yet. There is still time, and it's not even the end of the world if I can't be on campus when school starts.
4.I can't change hearts or minds of people that don't want to contribute. That's ultimately their call. God's going to provide whether those that don't want to give wanted to or not...really, there aren't even that many of them as far as I can tell
5. Ultimately, it's all in God's hands. I know I listed this..but it all begins and ends with what he does.
Ten things to pray: 1. That I remember, ultimately, it's all in God's hands. 2. That those friends, family, and etc. potential donors that aren't financially capable would be financially capable...meaning that my parents would find jobs, that everyone else would find jobs, et al. That does mean praying for an economic turnaround probably...but people that pray small prayers expect small results, and friends, we are not expecting small results. "Bring your Umbrella" so to speak.... 3. That God's provision continues.
4. Patience, patience, patience...I know it's learned...and sometimes, it's given.....I need it to be both right now.
5,6,7,8,9,10: Praise the Lord for all he has done already, and all he will do. "Praise Him in advance"
Something I might always say as part of my staff routine...if you can call it that, though, is that you cannot pray and be opposed to being an answer to prayer requests. Think on that...it changed how I look at everything...from politics to the gospel to everything in between....
If I believed in polar opposites, I think politics and the gospel are that....if there ever was one, and that's either a total shame or exactly how it should be. I'm going to Hillsdale, so it's probably a total shame officially, but I have a feeling that deep down, I know it's exactly how it should be.
I was playing a card game about Zombies today (Zombie Fluxx....fluxx is awesome, by the way) and it was the first time I had an idea for an I.S. that I actually do wish I had did instead...a lot of my I.S. afterthoughts aren't really what I would have preferred...just other options I never explored. But this one was genuine: I wish I had critically examined the Zombie Movie Genre...it's not really been explored as such, at least not too critically that I know of...it's usually lumped into horror, which becomes something totally different because "scaring" is at the forefront of that analysis, while I would be supremely interested in the sexual politics, undertones, and social commentary of the zombie genre and conventions...that's why I love Westerns even though they aren't that good most of the time...and it's why I would have loved to do that I.S.....maybe if I ever go to Grad School.....if I ever go to Grad School, I'm probably going to go to Syracuse for Film...just because. Well...not counting seminary...I'll probably eventually do that...probably somewhere around Chicago, since that's apparently what people do, but it might be anywhere, and I might be anywhere by then too....it's not like there aren't a few decent spots in Michigan.
But first, Hillsdale. And first, funding.
And before all of that...prayer...and patience...and hard work.
I think John might be the best writer in the New Testament...just like, naturally. Of course it's hard to tell in translation...if nothing else, his words translate best. Matthew is probably second, then Paul, then Peter, then Luke. James has potential for fourth, but there's so little, I'll probably go with Mark next, followed by James in fifth. The author of Hebrews might be second too....but he might be any of those guys too, so it's hard to say. I once heard it might be Apollos, and I like that theory, but that's conjecture....
As I've been writing this, I've been listening to music, as I always do, and I finally realized what "Breakfast at Tiffany's" by Deep Blue Something is actually about...wow. Not wow like "that's deep" or wow like "So incredible" but wow like "it's been like, most of my life since I've been listening to that song from time to time and I just now get it" He's just saying they do have something in common...so she should give him a chance. I either never listened to the lyrics well enough, or it was meant to happen, right now, for a reason. And it's probably both of those things...
I'm a little sad that the common grounds reunion is this fall at homecoming...both because I don't know if I can make it and because it's not removed enough to make it that awesome, and by the time another rolls around, if there is one, it will probably be too removed...Oh well...I still hope to go to homecoming.
This blog is Wooster and InterVarsity centric....sorry about that. Well, maybe you don't mind. But someone might.
-Zack
"Take your skin off when you listen to me"
-The Killers
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
I should not be awake...
It is nearly 4:30 in the morning. I should not be awake...I shouldn't have been awake 2 or 3 hours ago...I probably shouldn't have been awake 4 hours ago.
Oh well. Here I am.
I've been toying with the ideas of deliberately increasing my rate of posting....both because I could, and because it seems that a "blog" as it is, is apparently updated nearly daily..I've got an SLT friend that updates almost every day with what's basically a devotional he writes....I update weekly with the most random thoughts I've got at the moment.
Perhaps that's exactly why I shouldn't post more often...how much more useless could I make this, than to make more of it? A weeks worth of stuff becomes a fairly inane post quickly in my hands.... day's time will render it completely ridiculous...I think.
Anyway....16 percent now.
I'm steadily getting one percent/week for awhile. Hopefully this week, in it's more than half left state, will render it quite a bit more than 1% higher than it was Monday. It's getting close to the August 1st date I have been communicating...and I'm not at all close to 80%...but I know God is still faithful and miracles do happen. Even if I miss August 1st, the world will not end. I'm actually pretty close to 20 percent...it's just a matter of seeing things come in and seeing how much they end up being.
Anyway....
I could probably ramble about Fund Raising for awhile, when really, all it comes down to is the work of the Lord....as in, the work He's doing.
Today, well, yesterday...Tuesday, let's just say...was a good, strange, ultimately influential day. And it has a cool date....7/21.
I'm not even sure what to say of it...I slept til noon, failed at printing things, and God did the rest and it turned into a great day. That's the thing about God (and me) a lot of the time....it's easy to think that God's going to move when you do as much as you can...and a lot of the time, that is true...it's why we plan, it's why fundraising is more than praying and waiting for miracles...it's why it's not unChristian to invest money or put things away for retirement...etc. Anyway, what I'm saying, is that God will sometimes (often, it seems, in my case) take train wrecks of situations (like today could have been....) and makes them into something real...something beautiful.
I've had strange dreams for nearly a week now....almost nightmares, but maybe not...I don't know...not nightmares, but definitely dreams of things I wouldn't want to happen in real life.
Like, for instance, I'm going to a wedding this weekend, and I'm really looking forward to it...but I had a dream that I got so lost on my way there that I gave up and went to Wooster instead and there was a different wedding going on on campus that wasn't the wedding I was headed too until the very end of the dream....
just strange stuff....
And I somehow recognized someone by a pillow they were carrying before I saw them (this was in the dream...well, maybe a different dream...sometime last night)....and I've never seen that person's pillow, ever. But that was a good dream...just weird, once more.
I don't doubt that dreams can be used by God. Actually, I'm pretty sure they can't not be. Of course, there are dreams that aren't anything...but a dream is nothing if not some kind of impression of what's in your head in some strange smattering of something...if it's not that, then it's definitely from God. So it's either a weird, interesting but ultimately pointless impression of something in your head or a message from the Lord. Or God using the former as the latter. Anyway, who can say for sure what is what? I think that's between you and God, because if you don't want to believe that, God's probably not going to make you, because he's not at all constrained to dreams when it comes to communicating to us...nor is he constrained to "words from the Lord" in pentecostal churches (in all of their forms..) nor, even, to the Bible. One thing about the world, one thing about God...it's that he's going to do what he's going to do...it's just how it is, and he knows how we'll react. I can't explain what that means on every level...no one can and that's kind of the point. All it really means, and all it will ever really mean, in the end, is that without his love, we're nowhere, and without faith, we're getting there quickly.
Facebook hasn't let me login all night. Most of the time, that wouldn't matter...but when you're up til 5, it kind of can...
Heroes is a wonderful show, especially if you like Watchmen and Midnight's Children...you get both of them at once!
Actually, that could be taken sarcastically....I really do like Heroes, and I really really love Midnight's Children....Watchmen is great too (albeit hopelessly overrated and so deep it's shallow).
And once more, I have no idea why I actually think anyone will read the things I write...maybe it's like watching for shooting stars....there's a great chance you won't see one, but there's a chance you could too...so you try. There's always a chance I could have written something worth reading, something interesting....not a great chance, but at least a chance.
And that's why I shouldn't update everyday...even if only because I can't start a paragraph without "and."
I enjoy how I've abandoned all true topics as far as unity in a single post is concerned....but even so, it does feel weird just launching into things sometimes.
I also enjoy that I can enjoy disunity, which proves that we're more conditioned to look for it than that it's something we innately long for somewhere deep inside....even so, I know that is a tight rope to walk because I do think we innately long for God in the deepest of ways. But I don't think we construct God out of necessity as we seem to want to construct or construe unity. The truth is, there isn't any truth we can depend upon save for that revealed by God...and I don't see what's so wrong with saying that. There isn't anything. I could rephrase it though, and in the wrong company, begin a war....I could say "There is no reliable, Objective truth save for that which God reveals" And maybe that doesn't sound bad...but the fact that culture, politics, morals, reality as we perceive it are barred from objectivity in that model....at least they ought to be. The best theologians should say that the root of all sin is selfishness, self-centeredness, arrogance, pride...something along those lines. It's saying we know better, can do better, can be something great, apart from under the proper Lordship of God. As such, we've got to realize that everything we think we know that God hasn't specifically revealed ought to be thought of as seen through a glass darkly....sure, I can reasonably say that certain facts must be true....the fact that I am 21, my name is Zack, and I am up at 4:52 a.m. right now....those are reasonably true...but they are ultimately relative...relative to the world in which they are taking place...I am Zack because my parents arbitrarily picked that name...I am up at 4:52 because someone decided that that was the right time to offset taking into account the movement of the earth/sunrise/whatever....that's "late" because my culture says it's late...I am 21 under the relative gregorian calendar of the Earth....truthfully, I can construct myself as a series of nothing but relativities, even when that means decentering "core" pieces of truth. That's why it's so important to acknowledge that we as humans can't know anything as objective, unrelative truth unless it's an instance of revealed knowledge from the Lord...He doesn't change and he exists apart from us...and he actually knows everything. He is relative to nothing because He was before everything else. This isn't quite full-on pluralism/relativism....my argument is that objective truth exists, but as humans, we're incapable of knowing or verifying any of it....really, that's Biblical if you think about it. The leap into nothing comes when you remove God, and that has always been the case. There's nothing different but the cutting of arrogance from our concept of knowledge. That's a good thing. Embrace the post-modern.
I should sleep. I don't know if I will. But I'll lay down, I'll read...we'll see what happens.
-Zack
"Alleluia, alleluia, we are on our way"
-David Crowder
Oh well. Here I am.
I've been toying with the ideas of deliberately increasing my rate of posting....both because I could, and because it seems that a "blog" as it is, is apparently updated nearly daily..I've got an SLT friend that updates almost every day with what's basically a devotional he writes....I update weekly with the most random thoughts I've got at the moment.
Perhaps that's exactly why I shouldn't post more often...how much more useless could I make this, than to make more of it? A weeks worth of stuff becomes a fairly inane post quickly in my hands.... day's time will render it completely ridiculous...I think.
Anyway....16 percent now.
I'm steadily getting one percent/week for awhile. Hopefully this week, in it's more than half left state, will render it quite a bit more than 1% higher than it was Monday. It's getting close to the August 1st date I have been communicating...and I'm not at all close to 80%...but I know God is still faithful and miracles do happen. Even if I miss August 1st, the world will not end. I'm actually pretty close to 20 percent...it's just a matter of seeing things come in and seeing how much they end up being.
Anyway....
I could probably ramble about Fund Raising for awhile, when really, all it comes down to is the work of the Lord....as in, the work He's doing.
Today, well, yesterday...Tuesday, let's just say...was a good, strange, ultimately influential day. And it has a cool date....7/21.
I'm not even sure what to say of it...I slept til noon, failed at printing things, and God did the rest and it turned into a great day. That's the thing about God (and me) a lot of the time....it's easy to think that God's going to move when you do as much as you can...and a lot of the time, that is true...it's why we plan, it's why fundraising is more than praying and waiting for miracles...it's why it's not unChristian to invest money or put things away for retirement...etc. Anyway, what I'm saying, is that God will sometimes (often, it seems, in my case) take train wrecks of situations (like today could have been....) and makes them into something real...something beautiful.
I've had strange dreams for nearly a week now....almost nightmares, but maybe not...I don't know...not nightmares, but definitely dreams of things I wouldn't want to happen in real life.
Like, for instance, I'm going to a wedding this weekend, and I'm really looking forward to it...but I had a dream that I got so lost on my way there that I gave up and went to Wooster instead and there was a different wedding going on on campus that wasn't the wedding I was headed too until the very end of the dream....
just strange stuff....
And I somehow recognized someone by a pillow they were carrying before I saw them (this was in the dream...well, maybe a different dream...sometime last night)....and I've never seen that person's pillow, ever. But that was a good dream...just weird, once more.
I don't doubt that dreams can be used by God. Actually, I'm pretty sure they can't not be. Of course, there are dreams that aren't anything...but a dream is nothing if not some kind of impression of what's in your head in some strange smattering of something...if it's not that, then it's definitely from God. So it's either a weird, interesting but ultimately pointless impression of something in your head or a message from the Lord. Or God using the former as the latter. Anyway, who can say for sure what is what? I think that's between you and God, because if you don't want to believe that, God's probably not going to make you, because he's not at all constrained to dreams when it comes to communicating to us...nor is he constrained to "words from the Lord" in pentecostal churches (in all of their forms..) nor, even, to the Bible. One thing about the world, one thing about God...it's that he's going to do what he's going to do...it's just how it is, and he knows how we'll react. I can't explain what that means on every level...no one can and that's kind of the point. All it really means, and all it will ever really mean, in the end, is that without his love, we're nowhere, and without faith, we're getting there quickly.
Facebook hasn't let me login all night. Most of the time, that wouldn't matter...but when you're up til 5, it kind of can...
Heroes is a wonderful show, especially if you like Watchmen and Midnight's Children...you get both of them at once!
Actually, that could be taken sarcastically....I really do like Heroes, and I really really love Midnight's Children....Watchmen is great too (albeit hopelessly overrated and so deep it's shallow).
And once more, I have no idea why I actually think anyone will read the things I write...maybe it's like watching for shooting stars....there's a great chance you won't see one, but there's a chance you could too...so you try. There's always a chance I could have written something worth reading, something interesting....not a great chance, but at least a chance.
And that's why I shouldn't update everyday...even if only because I can't start a paragraph without "and."
I enjoy how I've abandoned all true topics as far as unity in a single post is concerned....but even so, it does feel weird just launching into things sometimes.
I also enjoy that I can enjoy disunity, which proves that we're more conditioned to look for it than that it's something we innately long for somewhere deep inside....even so, I know that is a tight rope to walk because I do think we innately long for God in the deepest of ways. But I don't think we construct God out of necessity as we seem to want to construct or construe unity. The truth is, there isn't any truth we can depend upon save for that revealed by God...and I don't see what's so wrong with saying that. There isn't anything. I could rephrase it though, and in the wrong company, begin a war....I could say "There is no reliable, Objective truth save for that which God reveals" And maybe that doesn't sound bad...but the fact that culture, politics, morals, reality as we perceive it are barred from objectivity in that model....at least they ought to be. The best theologians should say that the root of all sin is selfishness, self-centeredness, arrogance, pride...something along those lines. It's saying we know better, can do better, can be something great, apart from under the proper Lordship of God. As such, we've got to realize that everything we think we know that God hasn't specifically revealed ought to be thought of as seen through a glass darkly....sure, I can reasonably say that certain facts must be true....the fact that I am 21, my name is Zack, and I am up at 4:52 a.m. right now....those are reasonably true...but they are ultimately relative...relative to the world in which they are taking place...I am Zack because my parents arbitrarily picked that name...I am up at 4:52 because someone decided that that was the right time to offset taking into account the movement of the earth/sunrise/whatever....that's "late" because my culture says it's late...I am 21 under the relative gregorian calendar of the Earth....truthfully, I can construct myself as a series of nothing but relativities, even when that means decentering "core" pieces of truth. That's why it's so important to acknowledge that we as humans can't know anything as objective, unrelative truth unless it's an instance of revealed knowledge from the Lord...He doesn't change and he exists apart from us...and he actually knows everything. He is relative to nothing because He was before everything else. This isn't quite full-on pluralism/relativism....my argument is that objective truth exists, but as humans, we're incapable of knowing or verifying any of it....really, that's Biblical if you think about it. The leap into nothing comes when you remove God, and that has always been the case. There's nothing different but the cutting of arrogance from our concept of knowledge. That's a good thing. Embrace the post-modern.
I should sleep. I don't know if I will. But I'll lay down, I'll read...we'll see what happens.
-Zack
"Alleluia, alleluia, we are on our way"
-David Crowder
Thursday, July 16, 2009
It's the bond that will keep us together.....
I'm going to admit, right now, that the reason I'm writing this is to get out of work....well, other work...I still feel like this is a necessary enough task for a lot of reasons. I had/have a few hours of envelope writing ahead of me, and decided to break it up a bit. I'm learning, more and more each day that producing and sending a newsletter is a ton of work...but it's kind of fun. There's just a lot that goes into it...keeping track of addresses, making sure you don't send two to one person, writing out everything, printing everything, getting all the postage together..doing expense reports after the fact...and, of course, producing the letter itself. That's kind of the least work...well, it was this time. I doubt it will ever be hard for me to write a couple of pages (or less) though......I could probably stand to get really good at making it more visually appealing...that will come with time (and boredom with repetition, I'm sure). But this is my first prayer letter in the strictest sense...technically, the first thing was an announcement letter....that, of course, isn't counting China/SLT things...
Anyway, here I am, it's Thursday again. The weeks are going by quickly now. Wedding #2 is just a week away (well, and the distance between now and the weekend). The summer will certainly be over before I know it...
A Fact about Facebook: More than just the facts, you get to see the overall tone of society...or at least your section of society that makes up your friends. This week, I've been learning that band camp is just a month away at the College of Wooster...and that's making a lot of people excited...It's going to be really weird not going back....and that also means that the Regional Staff Conference and the beginning of the school year really are just around the corner. Fascinating....weird. Exciting.
Give me and event and I'll give you some adjectives.
I have Bob Hope stamps. They were out of Black Heritage, so I went with the other BH.
Mostly because Annie said not to get Bell/Flag/Military Insignia stamps if I could avoid it. I'm okay with that....it's a lot more fun that way, and apparently it means more people read your letters?
Speaking of Annie, she leaves for Chicago really soon....tomorrow or within a week, at least, I think. That's weird. Not that she's moving..well, maybe that, a little, but, moreso, that I probably won't see her for quite some time, and that's very different from the life I've had the past four years. She's been basically everywhere I've gone of any significance...she's been at all but one of the weddings I've attended in the past four years, she was at every CFW, every Urban Plunge, Urbana, SLT...she was even supposed to be in China with us, and even when she wasn't, she threw the welcome back party. That's transition though...that's life. It's been time to move on for awhile, and that's where we all are.
Apparently though, I'm one of few people not moving on to Columbus. That's not totally true...especially since Audrey is moving to Minnesota (well, sort of "moving")....but there's a chance I can one-stop-shop my visiting for almost everyone from school by going to Columbus. Hyperbole...but not too terribly much.
It's going to be so weird not living in Ohio. I've always lived in Ohio. This is my place. But at least, where I'm going, Vernors is readily available.....honestly, were it not for Cleveland and the Buckeyes (and the presence of an unmentionable school in Ann Arbor), Michigan could be a superior state. It's beautiful, it's cooler (temperature), there are lakes...I could easily fall for Detroit like I did Cleveland....I think I'll always have something for the hated-on-cities of our country.... I'm definitely not as unexcited about moving to Michigan as I have been. It's definitely grown on me. I will miss our fall conference, but Michigan's isn't called compelling for nothing, right? I'm not necessarily looking forward to what seems a less interesting format (tracks at a weekend conference...just sounds too cumbersome and not as good at building basics early in the year...but I don't know...I just know what I like and I love it..I'm sure they -we- have good reasons and it will be fine.) Thankfully, in my track, I'll be working with one of my favorite new staff. Okay, I don't think I can pick favorites, but at least it's another Ohio guy adapting to the great white north right there with me.
I honestly don't know what I think anyone will read this some days...like today.
-Zack
"I found a love in me
I somehow always knew that it existed
It just needed to be set free
Bon Voyage"
-Relient K
Anyway, here I am, it's Thursday again. The weeks are going by quickly now. Wedding #2 is just a week away (well, and the distance between now and the weekend). The summer will certainly be over before I know it...
A Fact about Facebook: More than just the facts, you get to see the overall tone of society...or at least your section of society that makes up your friends. This week, I've been learning that band camp is just a month away at the College of Wooster...and that's making a lot of people excited...It's going to be really weird not going back....and that also means that the Regional Staff Conference and the beginning of the school year really are just around the corner. Fascinating....weird. Exciting.
Give me and event and I'll give you some adjectives.
I have Bob Hope stamps. They were out of Black Heritage, so I went with the other BH.
Mostly because Annie said not to get Bell/Flag/Military Insignia stamps if I could avoid it. I'm okay with that....it's a lot more fun that way, and apparently it means more people read your letters?
Speaking of Annie, she leaves for Chicago really soon....tomorrow or within a week, at least, I think. That's weird. Not that she's moving..well, maybe that, a little, but, moreso, that I probably won't see her for quite some time, and that's very different from the life I've had the past four years. She's been basically everywhere I've gone of any significance...she's been at all but one of the weddings I've attended in the past four years, she was at every CFW, every Urban Plunge, Urbana, SLT...she was even supposed to be in China with us, and even when she wasn't, she threw the welcome back party. That's transition though...that's life. It's been time to move on for awhile, and that's where we all are.
Apparently though, I'm one of few people not moving on to Columbus. That's not totally true...especially since Audrey is moving to Minnesota (well, sort of "moving")....but there's a chance I can one-stop-shop my visiting for almost everyone from school by going to Columbus. Hyperbole...but not too terribly much.
It's going to be so weird not living in Ohio. I've always lived in Ohio. This is my place. But at least, where I'm going, Vernors is readily available.....honestly, were it not for Cleveland and the Buckeyes (and the presence of an unmentionable school in Ann Arbor), Michigan could be a superior state. It's beautiful, it's cooler (temperature), there are lakes...I could easily fall for Detroit like I did Cleveland....I think I'll always have something for the hated-on-cities of our country.... I'm definitely not as unexcited about moving to Michigan as I have been. It's definitely grown on me. I will miss our fall conference, but Michigan's isn't called compelling for nothing, right? I'm not necessarily looking forward to what seems a less interesting format (tracks at a weekend conference...just sounds too cumbersome and not as good at building basics early in the year...but I don't know...I just know what I like and I love it..I'm sure they -we- have good reasons and it will be fine.) Thankfully, in my track, I'll be working with one of my favorite new staff. Okay, I don't think I can pick favorites, but at least it's another Ohio guy adapting to the great white north right there with me.
I honestly don't know what I think anyone will read this some days...like today.
-Zack
"I found a love in me
I somehow always knew that it existed
It just needed to be set free
Bon Voyage"
-Relient K
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Just somebody that I used to know....
I actually had a title that "meant" something in mind yesterday....but I forgot what it was by the time right now rolled around. So, in typical fashion, I grabbed a lyric...this time, from Elliott Smith.
Let it mean something if you want, who am I to judge?
I think the greatest fallacy, or well, misunderstanding about non-formalist, non-modern ideology is it's deference to the sub-concious. That's really why you can attach your own meaning to something....because you're paying respects to the notion that the artist might have absolutely no idea how much something could mean when they write it.
anyway....
When I think about it, it's weird to be doing "nothing" during July. I mean, not really nothing...but really, compared to my last two Julys, this one is decidedly less exciting. But China and SLT...well, you're not going to beat that.
"How goes the funding?" you ask. Well....I wish I knew...well, I know. But a lot of right now feels more like waiting than doing. I've few contacts left to follow up with...and let's just say they're not the highest priority contacts for a reason. But God does work surprises and miracles for a reason!
College made me forget how to really relax. Or something. I don't know...I just feel very without anything to do most of the time...and I don't mean I'm "bored" because I have things I could do as far as entertainment goes...I just feel like I don't have things of all that much importance to do. Just my funding...which is how it's supposed to be right now...but it's easy to run out of things to do with that a lot...a lot a lot. That and I have a weird sleep schedule now that I've tried to get rid of but am doing better at giving in to. Last night, I went to bed at 8:00. I was glad I was tired, and hoped I would be able to sleep til at least 3 a.m.....not quite. I woke up at 12 and stayed up til 9, then slept, basically, til 2:30....the worst part about it all, is that it doesn't really matter that much right now, so I'm really failing at doing anything about it. My prediction for tonight, which is probably really off, is that I get to sleep around 4 and sleep til 11:30. That would probably be good...compared to last night.
I am really satisfied with what is going to be basically my first real "prayer letter." It's basically finished...should get it out by the end of next week, so keep your eyes open for it! Well, presumably, although I guess I don't necessarily know *everyone* that reads this.
I don't know how much I've shared, but both of my parents are currently looking for jobs. This has been a good week as far as that goes...my dad had an interview yesterday, he has another tomorrow, and my mom has one Monday. So praise the Lord for that, and pray that they become fruitful experiences! Both of my dad's interviews were in Fort Wayne....soo..that might be where my family is headed.
I'm happy to kind of announce that there will be another IV intern at Hillsdale next year...his name is Jason, he's a graduate of Hillsdale with a current-student girlfriend...he was an intern at a church last year and wanted to stay in the area, so he'll be onboard as well, and I'm really excited about that. It means the only staff at Hillsdale often won't be someone with no background in the place and a very steep learning curve. (That's me, by the way...)
I've had the privilege of sharing at a couple of churches so far this summer, and it's a fun experience. I think it's one of my favorite parts of fund raising so far....I hope I get to do more and more of it as my career progresses....I'm sure I probably will. Heck, it's something I was doing with Annie for Wooster before I was ever accepted to InterVarsity staff, so I'm pretty sure it's a major part of the territory surrounding staffwork, and I know it goes hand in hand with missionary work all of the time.
I don't know what to make of politics anymore. I have facebook friends who have both strongly approved and strongly disapproved of Barack Obama on the facebook approval poll...I'm kind of sad that even exists, but anyway...only time will tell, really....I don't think we can do one or the other yet when it comes to the economy....he didn't get us into this mess, that's for sure....it's up to him to get us out of it though, that is also certain. So we'll see. And I cannot tolerate the conservative outcry over his talks with the "enemies of America." Since when is war preferable to diplomacy? Since when are our hardline ideals more important than keeping people with nuclear weapons from hating us? If I were president, I would definitely negotate with Terrorists. Not because I condone their actions...but precisely because I don't. But, if I were a politician, that would also mean I wouldn't be who I am today, and that probably means I'd still be a party-line conservative....
-Zack
"Hear the call peace fall
From trial to triumph I want your hand in it all
Allow me to know where to stand in it all"
-John Reuben
Let it mean something if you want, who am I to judge?
I think the greatest fallacy, or well, misunderstanding about non-formalist, non-modern ideology is it's deference to the sub-concious. That's really why you can attach your own meaning to something....because you're paying respects to the notion that the artist might have absolutely no idea how much something could mean when they write it.
anyway....
When I think about it, it's weird to be doing "nothing" during July. I mean, not really nothing...but really, compared to my last two Julys, this one is decidedly less exciting. But China and SLT...well, you're not going to beat that.
"How goes the funding?" you ask. Well....I wish I knew...well, I know. But a lot of right now feels more like waiting than doing. I've few contacts left to follow up with...and let's just say they're not the highest priority contacts for a reason. But God does work surprises and miracles for a reason!
College made me forget how to really relax. Or something. I don't know...I just feel very without anything to do most of the time...and I don't mean I'm "bored" because I have things I could do as far as entertainment goes...I just feel like I don't have things of all that much importance to do. Just my funding...which is how it's supposed to be right now...but it's easy to run out of things to do with that a lot...a lot a lot. That and I have a weird sleep schedule now that I've tried to get rid of but am doing better at giving in to. Last night, I went to bed at 8:00. I was glad I was tired, and hoped I would be able to sleep til at least 3 a.m.....not quite. I woke up at 12 and stayed up til 9, then slept, basically, til 2:30....the worst part about it all, is that it doesn't really matter that much right now, so I'm really failing at doing anything about it. My prediction for tonight, which is probably really off, is that I get to sleep around 4 and sleep til 11:30. That would probably be good...compared to last night.
I am really satisfied with what is going to be basically my first real "prayer letter." It's basically finished...should get it out by the end of next week, so keep your eyes open for it! Well, presumably, although I guess I don't necessarily know *everyone* that reads this.
I don't know how much I've shared, but both of my parents are currently looking for jobs. This has been a good week as far as that goes...my dad had an interview yesterday, he has another tomorrow, and my mom has one Monday. So praise the Lord for that, and pray that they become fruitful experiences! Both of my dad's interviews were in Fort Wayne....soo..that might be where my family is headed.
I'm happy to kind of announce that there will be another IV intern at Hillsdale next year...his name is Jason, he's a graduate of Hillsdale with a current-student girlfriend...he was an intern at a church last year and wanted to stay in the area, so he'll be onboard as well, and I'm really excited about that. It means the only staff at Hillsdale often won't be someone with no background in the place and a very steep learning curve. (That's me, by the way...)
I've had the privilege of sharing at a couple of churches so far this summer, and it's a fun experience. I think it's one of my favorite parts of fund raising so far....I hope I get to do more and more of it as my career progresses....I'm sure I probably will. Heck, it's something I was doing with Annie for Wooster before I was ever accepted to InterVarsity staff, so I'm pretty sure it's a major part of the territory surrounding staffwork, and I know it goes hand in hand with missionary work all of the time.
I don't know what to make of politics anymore. I have facebook friends who have both strongly approved and strongly disapproved of Barack Obama on the facebook approval poll...I'm kind of sad that even exists, but anyway...only time will tell, really....I don't think we can do one or the other yet when it comes to the economy....he didn't get us into this mess, that's for sure....it's up to him to get us out of it though, that is also certain. So we'll see. And I cannot tolerate the conservative outcry over his talks with the "enemies of America." Since when is war preferable to diplomacy? Since when are our hardline ideals more important than keeping people with nuclear weapons from hating us? If I were president, I would definitely negotate with Terrorists. Not because I condone their actions...but precisely because I don't. But, if I were a politician, that would also mean I wouldn't be who I am today, and that probably means I'd still be a party-line conservative....
-Zack
"Hear the call peace fall
From trial to triumph I want your hand in it all
Allow me to know where to stand in it all"
-John Reuben
Friday, July 3, 2009
Symmetry...
Is it something we long for by nature and search for to prove? Or does it happen because God wants it to?
I try not to search for order in general, and especially where it isn't. I try to live a life that accepts reality as reality without thinking pieces fit together for a unified whole....I can't see the whole, only God can, so it's not my job to search it out...
But right now...I want symmetry.
Badly.
Right now, in times where it could be "won" lies what looks like it won't happen.
But then again....
Who am I to tell?
I shouldn't even be looking for it.
-Zack
"I never never want to go home"
-The Smiths
I try not to search for order in general, and especially where it isn't. I try to live a life that accepts reality as reality without thinking pieces fit together for a unified whole....I can't see the whole, only God can, so it's not my job to search it out...
But right now...I want symmetry.
Badly.
Right now, in times where it could be "won" lies what looks like it won't happen.
But then again....
Who am I to tell?
I shouldn't even be looking for it.
-Zack
"I never never want to go home"
-The Smiths
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Every little bit helps....
Blend and stir, stir and blend, and when it ends, spin that wheel again.
Nothing, sometimes, is harder than being.
And nothing is that has not at least at one time been.
But all that has already been for as long as anything has ever been, which, on some ends, is eternal. The great human scandal is that eternality implies the lack of linearity and yet we are nothing if not somehow linear.
I have had trouble, major trouble, sleeping normally this week. I've been up to at least 4 or 5 every day so far...it's not my idea of a good time, no, not at all. I get a lot of reading in, and I've seen all but the last season of the Office...but I don't want to be up that late. It's a vicious cycle though, brought on by far too many naps in the beginning of the summer...well, the last couple weeks at least...slowly, I was pushing toward this I guess. And here I am. But I'll break it...at least I'll do my best to break it. Sunday should work...I think I'm sharing at a church service at 8:30 a.m. And like, right now, I'm kind of tired, and it's just 9 p.m.....of course, I've only been up for 8 hours at this point....yeah...definitely not a fan of this. I definitely strive to be as much of a morning person as I can be, and usually, I do pretty well. There's just not a lot I have to do in the mornings these days so sleeping longer and longer is so tempting.
I think it has been my best week of fund development so far. I've gained over 3 percent, which is still kind of slow if you figure out how long it would take me to get to 100% from 3% every week...like, six months. But I think it's really the sign of a what should be an increasing and steady pace from here on out. I'm kind of running out of contacts at the moment...I've got about 40 left, which I can probably finish calling next week or the week after. That being said, there's a chance for a lot of new contacts at church this Sunday...two services of people that could potentially be interested in the ministry of InterVarsity.
I feel like I mostly say things that don't really make sense or just talk about fund-raising on here...I guess that's basically my life...a big confusing ball of fund-raising.
It's really weird to be home. I say that a lot, to a lot of people, and probably on here more than once. But it's totally, totally true....I was going somewhere with that, but I don't remember now...just a non-sequitur fact. Actually, I don't believe there is such a thing as a non-sequitur...if it exists, it has a purpose, and unity is a facade anyway, so there's no way you can define it based on that.
I'm reading Harry Potter (all of them, hopefully) this summer, and while i is, on one hand, far more interesting than I ever expected, I always feel like I could be a slightly better writer than Rowling. Maybe I couldn't, indeed I'm sure I could not, come up with everything in there...but her style is so painful...and it's not just low, like, for kids..it's just bad. The dialogue is flat, fan-fictiony with little to no thought seemingly poured into what the characters say...and the explanations of everything over and over again, while it kind of makes sense, just works, primarily, as a foil to all of the unfilled plot-holes. There are a ton of things I would love to see explained that never are...sure, I can assume it's magic, but the best parts of the books are the explanations of the magical stuff...anyway, I am enjoying it, but it's also painful.
I've also taken to reading seven books at a time, so it's not all Harry Potter, all the time. I always thought I might relish in reading just one thing at a time after I graduated, but I don't really...I'm a fan of many things, all at once....just like how I'm watching, at various point,s like, 5-9 movies at a time. Of course, I probably watch a lot more parital movies too...not many people will start and stop the same movie anywhere near as often as I do...but it's just me. I think I have a very slight attention span...that's what I blame.
So, when I redid this blog, in an attempt to make it more ministry-centric, my hope was to avoid just talking about myself for post upon post, and it's clear that I've utterly failed at that.
In an effort to succed a little better, I'll talk a little, week to week, when I think of it, about something that's been on my mind from scripture lately. This one is from Jeremiah 31:28-30
This passage has been kind of on my mind for awhile now because it points out a very interesting difference between the original covenant and the Kingdom of God began in the (and eventually completed in the 2nd) coming of Christ. For Jews, it was always about making up for the sins of ancestors and family members. I've heard jews attribute the Holocaust to sins of their ancestors. But that's not the way Jesus established the world-order...."he is blind so that God may be glorified" is a well known, but probably generally unexplored passage, with regard to Jewish tradition. It was, or should have been seen as, an affirmation on the part of Christ that the days spolen of by Jeremiah were at hand. The man was suffering because of sin, the fallen world in general, but not necessarily as punishment for his father. Suddenly, it is not about what family (and, therefore an entire ethnicity) does or does not do, but about an individual's faith. This is key, and, I think, a fairly overlooked aspect to the application of the new covenant, atonement for all, in grafting the gentiles into the Kingdom of and Inheritance from God. Not only are people free from the sins of their ancestors, but they are free to be forgiven for their own sins without it impacting their progeny. The result? Everyone must make a personal decision for (or, as it may be, against) Christ. One is no longer cleared or punished for the actions or inactions of those that came before...it is now between the individual and God. Faith finally matters a whole lot more. That's part of the doing away with blood sacrifice too...atonement is no longer tied to a family which gives up the family's ox or what have you.
Jeremiah is kind of a strange book...it's good, but it's half some of the hardest hitting and cruelest sounding prophecy in the Bible, but it's got a lot of incredible hopeful stuff (I know the plans I have for you...) and it's also got such great stories as "Jehoiakim burns Jeremiah's scroll" or "Jeremiah is thrown into a cistern." It's really great...sometimes hard to get through, depending what phase its in, but a wonderful message, all the way through; a message of the coming (and now present) hope for all in the name of the Lord.
Have a splendid Holiday weekend.
-Zack
"I didn't believe in magic til I watched you disappear (I wish you were here)"
-Gnarls Barkley
Nothing, sometimes, is harder than being.
And nothing is that has not at least at one time been.
But all that has already been for as long as anything has ever been, which, on some ends, is eternal. The great human scandal is that eternality implies the lack of linearity and yet we are nothing if not somehow linear.
I have had trouble, major trouble, sleeping normally this week. I've been up to at least 4 or 5 every day so far...it's not my idea of a good time, no, not at all. I get a lot of reading in, and I've seen all but the last season of the Office...but I don't want to be up that late. It's a vicious cycle though, brought on by far too many naps in the beginning of the summer...well, the last couple weeks at least...slowly, I was pushing toward this I guess. And here I am. But I'll break it...at least I'll do my best to break it. Sunday should work...I think I'm sharing at a church service at 8:30 a.m. And like, right now, I'm kind of tired, and it's just 9 p.m.....of course, I've only been up for 8 hours at this point....yeah...definitely not a fan of this. I definitely strive to be as much of a morning person as I can be, and usually, I do pretty well. There's just not a lot I have to do in the mornings these days so sleeping longer and longer is so tempting.
I think it has been my best week of fund development so far. I've gained over 3 percent, which is still kind of slow if you figure out how long it would take me to get to 100% from 3% every week...like, six months. But I think it's really the sign of a what should be an increasing and steady pace from here on out. I'm kind of running out of contacts at the moment...I've got about 40 left, which I can probably finish calling next week or the week after. That being said, there's a chance for a lot of new contacts at church this Sunday...two services of people that could potentially be interested in the ministry of InterVarsity.
I feel like I mostly say things that don't really make sense or just talk about fund-raising on here...I guess that's basically my life...a big confusing ball of fund-raising.
It's really weird to be home. I say that a lot, to a lot of people, and probably on here more than once. But it's totally, totally true....I was going somewhere with that, but I don't remember now...just a non-sequitur fact. Actually, I don't believe there is such a thing as a non-sequitur...if it exists, it has a purpose, and unity is a facade anyway, so there's no way you can define it based on that.
I'm reading Harry Potter (all of them, hopefully) this summer, and while i is, on one hand, far more interesting than I ever expected, I always feel like I could be a slightly better writer than Rowling. Maybe I couldn't, indeed I'm sure I could not, come up with everything in there...but her style is so painful...and it's not just low, like, for kids..it's just bad. The dialogue is flat, fan-fictiony with little to no thought seemingly poured into what the characters say...and the explanations of everything over and over again, while it kind of makes sense, just works, primarily, as a foil to all of the unfilled plot-holes. There are a ton of things I would love to see explained that never are...sure, I can assume it's magic, but the best parts of the books are the explanations of the magical stuff...anyway, I am enjoying it, but it's also painful.
I've also taken to reading seven books at a time, so it's not all Harry Potter, all the time. I always thought I might relish in reading just one thing at a time after I graduated, but I don't really...I'm a fan of many things, all at once....just like how I'm watching, at various point,s like, 5-9 movies at a time. Of course, I probably watch a lot more parital movies too...not many people will start and stop the same movie anywhere near as often as I do...but it's just me. I think I have a very slight attention span...that's what I blame.
So, when I redid this blog, in an attempt to make it more ministry-centric, my hope was to avoid just talking about myself for post upon post, and it's clear that I've utterly failed at that.
In an effort to succed a little better, I'll talk a little, week to week, when I think of it, about something that's been on my mind from scripture lately. This one is from Jeremiah 31:28-30
28 Just as I watched over them to uproot and tear down, and to overthrow, destroy and bring disaster, so I will watch over them to build and to plant," declares the LORD. 29 "In those days people will no longer say,
'The fathers have eaten sour grapes,
and the children's teeth are set on edge.'
This passage has been kind of on my mind for awhile now because it points out a very interesting difference between the original covenant and the Kingdom of God began in the (and eventually completed in the 2nd) coming of Christ. For Jews, it was always about making up for the sins of ancestors and family members. I've heard jews attribute the Holocaust to sins of their ancestors. But that's not the way Jesus established the world-order...."he is blind so that God may be glorified" is a well known, but probably generally unexplored passage, with regard to Jewish tradition. It was, or should have been seen as, an affirmation on the part of Christ that the days spolen of by Jeremiah were at hand. The man was suffering because of sin, the fallen world in general, but not necessarily as punishment for his father. Suddenly, it is not about what family (and, therefore an entire ethnicity) does or does not do, but about an individual's faith. This is key, and, I think, a fairly overlooked aspect to the application of the new covenant, atonement for all, in grafting the gentiles into the Kingdom of and Inheritance from God. Not only are people free from the sins of their ancestors, but they are free to be forgiven for their own sins without it impacting their progeny. The result? Everyone must make a personal decision for (or, as it may be, against) Christ. One is no longer cleared or punished for the actions or inactions of those that came before...it is now between the individual and God. Faith finally matters a whole lot more. That's part of the doing away with blood sacrifice too...atonement is no longer tied to a family which gives up the family's ox or what have you.
Jeremiah is kind of a strange book...it's good, but it's half some of the hardest hitting and cruelest sounding prophecy in the Bible, but it's got a lot of incredible hopeful stuff (I know the plans I have for you...) and it's also got such great stories as "Jehoiakim burns Jeremiah's scroll" or "Jeremiah is thrown into a cistern." It's really great...sometimes hard to get through, depending what phase its in, but a wonderful message, all the way through; a message of the coming (and now present) hope for all in the name of the Lord.
Have a splendid Holiday weekend.
-Zack
"I didn't believe in magic til I watched you disappear (I wish you were here)"
-Gnarls Barkley
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